Or is it easy? This is the time of year when we start to look to fall and what will be coming up in the winter months. Today marks the beginning of many changes or at least proposed changes in the year to come.
First and foremost, my beloved daughter in law has disconnected from our family. For various reasons, both deserved and undeserved, my son is experiencing the feelings of being tossed aside. As I ponder this event in my precious son's life I wonder what will become of him and his need for affection by another human being.
My son has been very sensitive all of his life. He has struggled with this side of his nature as he tries to be a "man". The battle between what our society defines as masculine behaviour and what God's expectation of manly behaviour is no less poignant in his life than anyone who is blessed with a super sensitive nature. It just hits closer to home for me as I have watched him act out his idea of what others expect of him which goes completely contrary to his nature. There is a slow erosion of his previous confident, fun loving and trusting nature. He has become sad, untrusting and wary. How this happened is moot at this juncture and only serves to create conflict by bringing it up.
I can do nothing about except to provide moral support and the commitment to pray.
My memories of his trying to be tough begin when he bought his first car. His dream was to buy a 68 mustang fast back from the man who's yard he mowed at age 12. He came rushing home one day and declared "if I can save up the $4000. by the time I'm 16 I can buy his car!" So the saving started. We agreed to put up half the money and he earned the other half mowing grass. I remember him taking on the one job that was on the side of a hill. Every week he lugged the mower across town, towing it behind his bike and mowed that damn lawn. One day he was ticked off when older boys drove by mocking him for having such a menial job. But he persisted ...He had other jobs mind you but this paid well... $20 a week durning the summer months - not half bad. He earned about $40 a week for grass cutting jobs and on Saturdays he worked at a trucking firm washing their trucks and cleaning them for the road for the next week - another $40. a week. During the spring breaks, for two years he went kicking and screaming to swimming lessons to earn his bronze cross and bronze medallion so he could be a life guard at camp. He had summer jobs as a life guard starting at age 14 and earned more money. He persisted, he sacrificed, he tried and he did it all with integrity being forthright in his dealings with others. He developed toughness and still enjoyed the blessings of being naively sensitive.
On his 16th birthday he took 4000 to the man with the mustang and brought his prize home knowing he had done it all with a clear conscience - no tricks, no lies, just simple honest living.
I hope to remind him of the previous story of persistence and long suffering in the weeks to come. He needs encouragement now and he needs to remember to draw from his past, however long ago it was.
He expressed the fear that he is simply not a loveable person. He thinks that no one will ever love him unconditionally and all he is asking for is some tenderness and affection. He needs to be reminded that his son adores him as does his step daughter. And most of all he needs to know that there is "One" who does fill our emptiness with all that we need and desire. We can take the empty vessels of our lives to God and have Him fill them to overflowing with his peace, love and joy. Fulfillment will come with persistence. God loves the broken hearted and His projects always turn out well. Today I am praying that God fill the emptiness in this family's lives with his mercy and peace. Joy, love and humility will be the outcome. Praise be to God.
Come Lord Jesus fill our hearts and lives with your Holy Spirit.
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