A Letter to Kail from Kukum

This is my first entry for a while and I think I deleted my other ones or have lost them somewhere.  I really don't understand how this all works but will make an attempt to gather myself some words and just do a little report on things that matter today.  I wrote this the other day but can now post it cause the acceptance at U of M is formalized and official.

Written on November 20, 2009

Dear Kail,

This morning started out like any other.  Word of God, prayer, shower, face, breakfast and taking two sullen boys to school.  On the way home picked up my dishes, received a call from you wondering where I was.  I was on the way home....ICED CAP??? ... Okay.. so you and your brother are two people I have great difficulty saying no to especially now that you are leaving here.

What happens in the next month and a half is something I'm not prepared for and yet last year's experience of you being in Europe for almost six months helps me realize this will be easy and also that you will, inevitability  leave again.  The little town we live in is too narrow a place for a mind like yours, Kail.  You are off to the city to pursue your dream of becoming.whatever God has intended you to be - and that remains to be seen.

As you know, I was a fan of Mary Kay Ash for a while and there was a little verse that she would say to her consultants that I think applies now.  I loved this one.  The author, "anon" had to have been a mother/grandmother to come up with the sentiment.


"I have a premonition that soars on silver wings,
It is a dream of your accomplishment
Of many wondrous things,
I do not know beneath which sky
Or where you'll challenge fate,
I only know it will be high,
I only know it will be GREAT!"


In the meantime, I get to pack dishes, and other household stuff while you work (a whole 8 hours!)....You are a delight and a jewel in my life Kail and that is not to take away from the other loves in my life.  It is just that you are so vibrant, alive and full of joy.  Remember that when you get down on yourself.

Today, after talking to the admissions officer I realize this is going to happen and there isn't any amount of dreaming I can do to keep you at a younger age.  After all you are nearly 20 and must get on with your own life.  Just never give up, remember to look up and that whether you "feel" Him or not, God is present, acknowledged or not He is present.  Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit

The issue of trust that we talk about so often isn't really an issue to me as He is the only one to trust...and that's who I trust to keep you safe...(also your good judgement and fiesty attitude has worked pretty well so far!! (lol).).  And Grampa, Mom and I all trust you.

Grampa and I pray daily for you (and our whole family for that matter).  You are embedded in our hearts  and your whole life is in God's hands.   People will always challenge your faith and try to get you to act contrary to your beliefs.  Just know that God's strength is yours for the asking and that you are loved, unconditionally by God and by your earthly family.

Love always,
Kukum